Do you ever stop to wonder how you came to be the person you are? Was it luck? Was it chance? Was it hard work? Was it heredity? Was it environment? No doubt all those things played a part, but they’re not the main thing. According to Arthur, the main thing is the values you carry around inside you.
He often asks, where do our values come from? From our parents, if we’re lucky. From sermons, from teachers, from books.
Once in a while, though, we can remember the source. Arthur’s father had a very clear sense of right and wrong, and Arthur remembers his father saying to him, “It’s no great credit to you if you behave decently only because you’re afraid of the penalties that may be enforced if you don’t. Obedience to the unenforceable, that’s the mark of a truly honest man.” And he added reflectively, “It’s not always easy, though.”
Many years ago, a bracelet that belonged to Arthur’s wife, Pam, went missing. They had an insurance policy that offered protection against “mysterious disappearance,” so eventually, they filed a claim and were reimbursed. Then, months later, Pam was astonished to find the bracelet behind some sofa cushions, deep in the upholstery. “Oh, Lord!” she said, and he knew the thoughts that were crossing her mind because some of them were crossing his. No one needed to know that they had found the bracelet. There would be no penalty for keeping it and forgetting about the insurance money. Then, like an echo from the past, a phrase jumped into his mind: obedience to the unenforceable.
“When we send the insurance money back,” he said, “let’s explain to the children why it’s necessary.”
Values. If they’re good ones, pass them on.