Learning to delay gratification and stay focused is critical for any goal, big or small.
Self-discipline is the golden ticket to achieving your biggest and smallest life goals. Saving money, getting fit, finally quitting a bad habit.
It’s also that elusive quality parents work to impart in their children, for good reason. Studies show that self-discipline measured at age 11 predicts future success. Kids who are more self-disciplined in elementary school have less heart disease, substance abuse, and fewer financial problems. And get this: self-discipline is a better predictor of academic success than IQ.
The ability to delay gratification and harness our attention for long-term gain is critical for achieving any goal, big or small.
Self-Discipline and Faith
This quality is especially important for people of faith, whose life ambition is to please God. Even from Genesis, we see God calling His people to master sin, to not succumb to temptation. When Cain blows it with a shoddy sacrifice, God tells him that sin “desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
Whether your goals relate to work, health, or overcoming a specific problem—there are tangible ways to grow in self-discipline. Here are six simple tips to flex this muscle today.
6 Ways to Be Self-Disciplined
1. Say your goal aloud.
Rather than feel daily despair over missing the mark again, bring your goal to the light. “I want to save up $1000 in the next six months.” “I want to lift weights four times per week.” “I want to stop shaking my fist (or worse) at drivers who cut me off on the freeway.” Verbalizing the goal floating around in your head moves it outside of you and breathes it into reality. If you can share this goal with another person, that’s even better.
2. Get specific.
As French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, a goal without a plan is just a wish. So, stop wishing on stars and make a plan. “I will make coffee at home for three months and put the savings into a separate account.” Or “I will block out 8 a.m. on my calendar four days per week to go to the gym.” Break your plan into simple baby steps. You’ll find it entirely doable and that self-discipline is easier than you thought. When you complete one simple step, celebrate it.
3. Call to mind your long-term goal.
A parent at my kids’ school treats the morning drop-off line like a personal parking space. This evokes anger in my heart, which spills out of my mouth, which undermines the lessons I’m trying to teach my kids about bearing one another with love and forgiving the people around us. My goal is to live out the faith I want my kids to embrace. When I bring my long-term goal to the forefront of my mind, I can interrupt my gut response. That doesn’t necessarily move me into an immediate Zen state, but it does help me turn my anger into an audible prayer. “Lord, give me patience for this driver! I’m all out.” This is a simple way to bridge reality with my long-term goal.
Maybe you have a physical goal to build muscle mass so you can lift your grandkids as you age. When you consider skipping the gym, call to mind your future grandkids. Connect your goal to your temptation every time, and that will fuel your self-discipline muscle.
4. Set deadlines and reminders.
Add a deadline to your calendar. If you want to save $1000 in six months, set a phone reminder that tells you every Friday, you must set aside $42 this week. This helps you make weekend plans around your goal. If you want to call your mother more often, add a calendar reminder every Wednesday evening. If you keep forgetting to pray for your friend undergoing chemo, add that to the calendar, too.
5. Ask for accountability.
Invite your spouse or best friend to lovingly check in on your goal. “I’m trying to avoid sugar because it gives me a headache. But I really love Oreos. Can you follow up with me after I grocery shop to make sure I stick to my list and didn’t go nuts in the cookie aisle?” Simply knowing that a person will be following up with you can be enough to nudge you into making the self-disciplined choice.
6. Receive grace and try again tomorrow.
There is only one person who has ever had perfect self-discipline, and He was God. When you blow it, receive the grace He purchased for you on the cross! For believers, God’s mercies are new every morning. So why would we continue to beat ourselves up in the face of failure, when God has already forgiven every shortcoming of those who walk in Him? This is the beautiful truth enjoyed by those who follow Him. We have no need to wallow in our missteps; we can move on to a new day. We remember that the God of the universe put His spirit in you, empowering you to overcome. Onward! There are practical benefits to this approach. Often people trying to eat better will slip up one time and then give up entirely. If you can forgive yourself for a minor slip-up, you’re less likely to abandon the pursuit altogether.
Final Reflection
Lest you assume you’re alone in your self-discipline woes, you must know…I set out to pen this article about self-discipline while my six kids had a week-long vacation from school. I knew to write it, I would have to wake up by 6 a.m. Would you believe it, two days in a row, I hit that alarm snooze button, missing two perfect opportunities to work. (It was rainy outside! Who can peel themselves from a warm bed when it’s raining and there’s no school?) Thankfully for this bedhead, I had added the deadline to my phone’s calendar and told my husband about it. He kindly offered a window of time to handle kid-duty so I could work. I used every tool listed above to finish my goal—and it paid off, despite my fumbles along the way.
Growing in self-discipline will help you in every arena of life: spirituality, health, work, finances.
So take heart. Developing this aspect of your character is doable for everyone. It begins with small steps, involves plenty of mistakes, and will reap a reward much bigger than the sacrifices you make along the way.
