When you take care of yourself, everyone around you benefits.
As followers of God, we strive to become more like Jesus Christ, the most humble and selfless person to walk the Earth. But even Jesus took time to be alone and pray. Even Jesus took naps, attended celebrations, and visited with his friends. Dating back to the story of Creation in Genesis, God set aside the seventh day to rest and made it holy. Rest is an integral part of God’s design for us. How can you keep this in mind when you decide to prioritize yourself?
Selfishness Versus Priority
Your needs do not and in fact should not always come first. If you have kids or other people for whom you are responsible, you know your needs rarely come first. But that doesn’t mean your needs are unimportant. You can’t keep pouring out to others if your cup is empty. When you decide to prioritize yourself, it is simply being intentional about filling your cup, not to selfishly hoard that energy, but to live a generous, purposeful and fulfilled life.
Instead of viewing prioritizing yourself as, “I will only look out for myself because taking care of others doesn’t benefit me,” view it through the lens of, “I must prioritize my needs so that I can live according to God’s will and find His purpose for me.”
Because when you choose to prioritize yourself and your needs, everyone around you benefits.
10 Unselfish Ways to Prioritize Yourself
Give Yourself Grace
You’re bound to make mistakes along the way. If you’re in Christ, there is no condemnation or shame for you. He has washed you clean. Learn to give yourself the grace that has already been given to you. Practice telling yourself, “It’s okay.” Take what you can learn from the mistakes and leave the rest in the past. When you are kind to yourself it will teach you to be kinder to others.
Take Care of Your Body
Your physical health can affect every other aspect of your life. Ask yourself:
- Am I nourishing my body with healthy foods?
- Am I getting all the vitamins and minerals I need?
- How is my quality of sleep?
- Am I getting adequate exercise?
- Do I need to see a doctor for any reason?
Find ways to model healthy eating and fitness for your kids by doing it together. Stay up to date with those routine checkups, so you and your doctors can catch any concerns early, before they become bigger issues that interrupt your quality of life. Living a healthy lifestyle takes some discipline and work, but these habits are for your benefit as well as the benefit of everyone who relies upon you.
Schedule Effective Rest Time
Doomscrolling on Instagram or TikTok does not count as effective rest time. Yes, I’m looking at you. Find restful activities that will replenish your energy. Good regular sleep is an important one that should not be overlooked. Create a list of activities that help you feel rested. Video games and screen time can be included but should not make up most of that time. Your list might look something like this.
- Time outside: picking flowers, walking, or kicking a ball around
- Reading for pleasure, either fiction or nonfiction or poetry
- Cooking or baking a fun and nourishing dish
- Coloring or working on a crafty hobby
- A nice bath with some fun bath bombs or salts
- Singing and dancing to music
Once you have your list of battery-charging activities, intentionally add time into your schedule to prioritize yourself and give yourself these moments, even if you only have a few minutes to spare.
Meditate and Pray
Take some time to reflect, pray, and ask the Lord for strength. Some people reflect best through journaling, others choose to listen to guided meditations. A quiet moment of mindfulness can be a great anchor for your mood throughout the day or can help you reset and center yourself in peace if something has thrown you off emotionally.
Practice Gratitude and Forgiveness to Free Your Spirit
When you intentionally focus on your blessings, it can help combat anxiety and worry. Taking the time to reach out to someone and say thank you can both lift your spirits and make their day. Everyone loves to feel appreciated. Try keeping a gratitude journal or challenging yourself to thank God for three things every day. You’ll be amazed by how much everything can begin to fill up your heart.
It’s the most difficult to forgive when the offender does not deserve forgiveness, especially when they do not apologize or feel that they need to be forgiven. When you have been wounded, forgiveness can feel unfair. But when you forgive, you choose to heal and move forward. It’s a way to prioritize yourself, not allowing yourself to be held back by whatever hurt you.
Be Intentional with Your Finances
This one takes discipline. Treating yourself with a little indulgence or retail therapy once in a while is fine, but it should not be your crutch whenever you feel sad. Take a deeper look at your spending habits. What are your goals? Do you have debts? What is your pattern and relationship with money? This kind of discipline is the opposite of most self-care advice you’ll hear, but it will create so much freedom in the long term.
The Bible mentions money more than almost any other aspect of life. It’s clear that from a Biblical standpoint, stewarding your finances well will have vast consequences for your personal wellness and for your family. Prioritize self-control and wise spending habits in your daily life, so that you can bless others or save for a bigger splurge.
Do Something Extraordinary
There are plenty of ways to shake up your routine and emerge from a personal slump, and many of them won’t break the bank. Look up interesting things to do in your area that you’ve never done before. Find a trail you’ve never walked or plan a day trip to the park or the beach. Take yourself to a museum. Drive to a different grocery store than your normal one. Stop for ice cream.
Connect with Loved Ones
Call a friend. Sometimes talking through life with a loved one can help put things in perspective. Create intentional questions during mealtimes to connect with your family. Play a game with your kids.
Learn How to Say “No”
Just because it needs to be done, doesn’t mean you have to be the one to do it. This reminds me of the story from Luke 10, where Jesus went to visit the sisters Mary and Martha. Martha ran around serving and hosting, and resented Mary for simply sitting at Jesus’s feet. Instead of scolding Mary for not jumping up to work, Jesus defended her for prioritizing time spent with him.
Setting a boundary can be really difficult if you’re a people-pleaser. You don’t want to appear selfish by saying no. It’s a skill that takes time to learn. You don’t always have to be like Martha, saying yes to every request and burning yourself out to serve. Sometimes, you must know your limits, express your boundaries, and become like Mary, abiding and resting at the feet of Jesus.
Ask For (and Accept) Help
What do you need help with? Maybe it’s a mental block you can’t get past, or a recurring failure that someone could keep you accountable for. Maybe it’s a babysitter so you and your spouse can finally spend some time alone and work on your marriage. Or maybe you just need someone to sit with you while you tackle that pile of laundry that’s been sitting in the closet for three weeks.
It’s okay to not have it all together, and it’s okay to ask for help. Go to your family, your close friends, a therapist, or your local church community. The worst they can say is no. Chances are you’ll find a few people enthusiastic to lend you a hand with whatever you need.
Remember this, the things that overwhelm you in your own life probably won’t overwhelm someone else. You are not a burden, and you can accept help.
Self-Control is Self-Care
Why are so many of these points about rules? Self-discipline creates order in every facet of life, which in turn frees your spirit and gives you breathing room. Poor impulse control and unclear boundaries can wreak havoc on a family. But life is not all about rule-following, that’s where grace comes in. When you take steps to prioritize yourself, you can steward your time and energy in a way that faithfully provides for yourself and those around you.
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