Simple steps to help you swap out negative thinking for positive thinking—and action!
Maria stood at the stove making eggs over easy, while coffee steeped in the French press. Her hands moved effortlessly in her regular morning ritual while her mind followed its own regular morning ritual. Maria’s brain was like a jumbotron broadcasting all the things she didn’t get done yesterday and the insurmountable number of things she would not finish today. Feeling overwhelmed by it all, she glanced towards the kitchen window. It was sunny outside. She stopped what she was doing and wondered why the sunshine didn’t bring her happiness like it used to… didn’t it used to?
Maybe this sounds familiar. Negative thoughts on replay in your mind until you’re exhausted, your mood is sour, and you can’t remember the last time you felt truly positive, inspired, or even joyful. According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. But wait? We have the hope of God inside of us! Shouldn’t that obliterate such a daunting statistic? After all, we know how this whole story ends. Shouldn’t that guarantee us some measure of positivity? The answer is yes and no. While our faith does give us a wildly mysterious hope, it also requires a continual renewing of our mind. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2a).
Lifestyle of Renewal
Every moment we are alive, both negative and positive messages are pouring in. From the news to health challenges, from the ups and downs of parenting to a general sense of loneliness and failure, we can’t seem to get a break. Somehow the negative messages tend to blare much louder than the rest. If we rehearse those negative messages, as most of us do, game over. Negativity wins.
Renewing our minds, however, is a game changer. If rehearsing negative messages (and behaviors) produces a negative mindset, then it stands to reason that doing the opposite will help us develop a more positive mindset. This is where the renewing of our minds comes in, but it’s not a one-shot deal. It requires a lifestyle of renewal which is key to developing a positive mindset.
Here are 10 actionable ways to develop a positive mindset that you can start doing today!
1. Thought Swap
This is an immediate action you can take to stop negative thoughts in their tracks. When the thought comes, consider: This negative thought has a positive counterpart. Take a moment to identify what that positive thought is. Example: “This traffic is the worst!” Thought swap: I can’t change anything about the traffic but, I do have a few minutes to myself. I can turn on my favorite podcast.
2. Going Outside and Moving
Step outside, feel the light, the rain, the grass under your feet. The earth was created to support us and science backs it up! Studies show that being outside significantly increases positive emotions and decreases negative emotions, especially when we are moving our bodies. This can be done in real time, to reset your negative thoughts, or it can be done as a daily practice to cultivate and maintain positivity in your life.
3. Positivity Partners
There is a popular meme that echoes a significant wisdom, “Find friends that feel like sunshine.” You may notice when you are around Negative Nellys, the negativity spreads. It is said that we are influenced the most by the three people we spend the most time with. Consider your inner circle. Do they bring out a positive mindset in you? Do you bring out a positive mindset in them? If not, take stock of the people in your life that motivate and inspire you positively, and consider nurturing those relationships more intentionally.
4. Appreciation Meditation
This practice packs a lot of bang for your buck! Your brain is designed to recognize what is familiar in order to understand and integrate it. When gratitude and appreciation are your baseline, your brain looks for more of it. When negativity is your baseline, your brain looks for more of that. With this exercise you are literally training your brain to live in appreciation and therefore your mindset to stay positive more often.
- Set your timer for at least 10 minutes (you can gradually work up to 30 minutes or more).
- Find a quiet undistracted space.
- Spend a few minutes noticing your breaths until they come full and easy with a steady rhythm.
- When you feel regulated and calm, allow a memory of something you are grateful for to rise to your mind (ex: holding your favorite pet, holding a loved one’s hand, accomplishing something that meant a lot to you, being on the beach).
- Once you have the memory, allow yourself to fully BE in the memory. Feel the feelings of gratitude that you felt in those moments. Allow the feelings to grow vibrant inside of you, joyful, appreciative, thankful. Let yourself smile outwardly or say a prayer of thanks, if that feels natural. It is key to stay in the feeling of appreciation for as long as you can. You are renewing your mind with every minute you spend in gratitude and thanks.
- When you are finished, as an added step, you can take a moment to write what you were appreciating and how it felt. You can share with a friend or for those who process through art, you may want to express the experience creatively.
5. Monitor Media
Carefully monitor what you watch and what you hear. This may step on some toes, but I’m going to give it to you straight. If you are spending significant time every day doom scrolling through feeds created to grab you with their sensationalism, self-dissatisfaction, and fear, OR watching and listening to hours of news filled with negative messages, the only possible outcome is to have a mind filled with negative messages. Checking on the news is not a bad thing or scrolling for a few minutes after breakfast. But consider how much is best for you and keep a short account of what you are taking into your mind and heart. Positive messages cultivate positivity. Negative messages cultivate…
6. Unscheduled Time
Sometimes negative thoughts that loop in our heads mean that we really need a rest. Not just sleep (adequate sleep is a given) but rest in the form of spaciousness. Unscheduled time to do whatever rises to your mind in the moment. Time to do the things you always wish you could when fulfilling obligations. You need regular time without responsibilities, demands, and to-do lists. If this sounds too good to be true, you probably need it more than ever. While we recommend a full day of rest, even an afternoon to do whatever your heart desires can renew your mind and your sense of inspiration for life, a.k.a., a more positive mindset.
7. Home
Your physical atmosphere contributes greatly to your overall well-being and positivity. Imagine coming home to an orderly home with a soft and comfortable place to sit, a vanilla candle burning, and everything from the lighting to your favorite tea to your favorite pajamas are readily available. How do you feel?
Now imagine you walk into your home and trip over shoes that were left out. Mud is smeared into the carpet (at least you hope it’s mud), the trash is overflowing, and it smells rank. You would make some tea but there are no clean dishes, and you can’t for the life of you find where you put your comfy pants.
I apologize for making you read that uncomfortable scenario. However, if you are feeling negative vibes, check your surroundings. A little sprucing and a scented candle can go a long way towards a more positive mindset.
8. Nightly Alignment List
This practice will help you practice positivity and purpose. As we said before, negativity comes more easily than positive thoughts. That means to renew our minds we must be more intentional. Do this nightly or even a few times a week and watch how it gives you a sense of alignment and yes, a more positive mindset!
Get a journal and a pen to keep beside your bed. Each night record:
- Three things you are grateful for
- Three things you accomplished today
- Three priorities for tomorrow
- Three things you are looking forward to
9. Remember Your “Why”
Without vision, people can perish. When we work towards a goal, something bigger than ourselves, that sense of purpose is an automatic positivity boost. You don’t have to take on the world (but we won’t stop you), you just need one purposeful mission. Then when the deluge of negative thoughts clutter your thinking and distract you from what is meaningful, you only need to remember your “why.”
10. Counsel
The truth is you can’t maintain a positive lifestyle if you have old trauma stories and negative beliefs playing on repeat in your mind and heart. Getting a trusted counselor or therapist to help you dig a little deeper into where negative thoughts are coming from, can be life changing. Therapy is an investment in yourself that can bring about genuine positivity from the inside out.
Remember Maria? While gazing out of her kitchen window she decided she would do something different that morning. She decided to take her breakfast outside and sit in the sunshine while she ate. Once there, she decided to eat slowly, savoring each bite–stopping to appreciate the mix of flavors. She could feel the negative thoughts floating away as she lived more deeply in the joy of this moment. Such a simple thing she thought, but she enjoyed the relief from the thoughts that were continually bogging her down. She paused in quiet appreciation.
Later that day she found herself stressed again, overwhelmed and stuck in the negative mindset that made her life miserable on most days. She decided to step outside for a moment and take a few deep breaths. She closed her eyes and remembered her delicious breakfast and the quiet of the morning. She remembered how much relief she felt from all the pressures in her life. It was a small thing, but she could feel gratitude again. She opened her eyes, a slight smile on her lips, and stepped back inside feeling lighter and ready to tackle what needed to be done.
These actionable steps towards a more positive mindset can help build a lifestyle of renewal. You won’t need all of them every day but consider making a few of them a part of your regular routine. A positive mindset is within your reach.
