Do you feel stuck in a rut? Here’s how you can change things today!
“I’m so tired of feeling stuck,” a close friend recently told me. Approaching her 25th birthday, she was looking at her life as it had panned out so far. She desired marriage, a family, to find something she could be passionate about. Yet here she was, still single, working a job she didn’t love just because she needed the work, only having energy left to play video games in her free time. Do you feel someone similar? Have you been aching to start living life on your terms?
After a long, emotional therapy session, my friend decided it was time for a change. She wasn’t seeing the life she wanted from her current situation. She decided to finally take the next step and pursue grad school and her dream of becoming a counselor.
The Hardest Part is Starting
My friend wasn’t meeting new people. She wasn’t growing in her career. She wasn’t living to the fullest—she was just surviving. Her life was consumed by getting through each day. That day in therapy, she reached a breaking point. She was done watching outside forces control her story. She had to make the conscious effort to dig her heels in and make a different choice.
This conversation got me thinking. It’s easy to get comfortable living a certain way, even though you know things can be better. You form your habits, get in a routine and become complacent. Time starts to pass you by as you are swept up into the current. But it doesn’t need to stay this way. Do you want to see transformation in your life? You can begin living life on your terms today. Here’s how you can start right now.
5 Ways to Start Living Life on Your Terms
1. Take Ownership of Your Identity
Who are you? An easy enough question, but it’s worth pondering and even writing down your answers. Here are more questions to help paint a clear picture:
- What do you value most?
- What is your purpose?
- What sets you apart from others?
- What are your dreams?
When you are confident and take ownership of your unique identity, it becomes clear where you should be focusing your energy—and where you shouldn’t.
If you are a follower of Christ, then your identity is anchored in who God says you are. While many outside factors of life will change as you age and grow, God’s Word remains constant and faithful. Read Ephesians 1 to see how God defines you.
2. Practice Discipline
What does discipline have to do with living life on your terms? Self-control is one of the fruits of the spirit that is often overlooked. Life change can happen to you in a flash of a moment, but lifestyle change is often a slow process of showing up again and again, taking small steps of discipline to reach your goals.
What aspects of your life could use some more focused discipline? Perhaps you want to be more intentional with your screen time. Or maybe you want to practice healthier habits like getting more exercise. Maybe you want to commit to praying for a specific person at the same time every day. Set up systems to help you build those habits, like setting an alarm reminder, or asking a friend to keep you accountable.
3. Reassess Where Your Joy Comes From
It’s impossible to live the life you want when your validation and happiness comes from the comparison and opinions of others. The rise of social media has made it so much more intense in the past few years.
But life is not all it seems on Instagram. Some of the most beautiful, most wealthy people with all the right vacation photos and all the right followers are also the most empty inside. But when your joy comes from the Lord, you have something deeper to hold onto, something that cannot be shaken by life’s ups and downs. The joy of the Lord invigorates you with an inner strength to help you start living the life that was meant for you, not someone else.
4. Redefine What Success Looks Like for You
When I was a teenager, I thought that my life would be completely meaningless if I wasn’t a published author selling my books and traveling the world in my early adulthood. Then I met my husband, got married, and had my daughter.
It doesn’t happen to everyone, but for me personally, something flipped. They are my whole world. My ministry, my purpose, my calling, what fills my life with meaning is to be his wife, to be her mama. Sure, I still enjoy the stories in my head, and maybe one day they’ll be books out there in the world. But if that never happens, I have still succeeded. If my daughter grows up knowing she is loved by God and by her parents, I could not be more content.
Success means something different to everyone. Don’t let others’ expectations define it for you. Only you know your calling. What would make your life meaningful? If you’re unsure, take it up with God. He knows a thing or two about these things, and He doesn’t mind the conversation.
5. Stop Waiting for a Reason
I never liked New Year’s Resolutions. They have such a horrible reputation for fizzling out after a few weeks that I specifically don’t set goals for the beginning of my year, and often start setting those goals closer to February. But it’s easy to say “I’ll get to that one day,” again and again until you run out of “one days.”
Now, there is something lovely about lining up a fresh start with a specific date, especially if you have a community around you all working towards their goals at the same time. You can encourage each other and push each other to make those good choices. If that’s what you need, let this be your community.
You know the changes you need to make. You know what’s holding you back. This is your sign to stop waiting and get started.
Start Living a Meaningful Life Right Now
When my dear friend decided it was time to stop simply surviving, she took a big step toward living on her own terms. If you’re done feeling swept up by the flow of life, perhaps right now is the moment when things change. If you’re looking for a community committed to helping you reach your goals and embrace God’s call on your life, check out more from Devoutly. Take personal ownership of your identity, your goals, and the discipline necessary to reach them.
The kind of meaningful life you want is possible. And you can start living it right now.
