Most people appear quite self-sufficient, composed, self-controlled. That is the way we are expected to look in public. But, as someone once observed, in every human being there is a frightened child. There is one in you and in me, too. Appearances notwithstanding, most human beings are plagued with self-doubt, shyness, a sense of inferiority and low self-esteem. We are afraid of ourselves, of the future, of the world. It is something we have to struggle against all the time. Very few people have wholly transcended this feeling of self-putdown and achieved complete, serene self-confidence. I do not think anyone has done so without definite change in his basic thinking.
The Book of Proverbs says, “In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence.” What does that mean, “fear of the Lord”? You could substitute the words awe, respect or love and be close to the intended meaning. In respect of the Lord, there is strong confidence. When an individual gets close to God, in loving harmony with God, then his weaknesses, his self-doubts and his shyness disintegrate.
An ancient philosopher said, “Know thyself, for this is the beginning of wisdom.” Now I’d like to ask you a question. Do you really know yourself? Or are you mixed up in your thoughts about yourself? Do you really know what is in you, what you can do? Have you really become aware of your potential? There is no greater day in a person’s life than the day he really finds himself and knows that he is more than equal to the difficulties he has to face. Have you found yourself?
How can a person work toward this happy condition? By practicing creative thinking. When you think creatively, you get creative results. William James was one of the greatest philosopher-psychologists this country ever produced. He said, “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” You will note that he does not say, “will create the fact,” but “will help to create the fact.”
Suppose I want to change some circumstance. The first thing I must do is believe that I have significant reserves to do it. That is the first thing—believing, faith. Then I must humbly surrender myself to God, seeking His wisdom and His guidance. Finally, I must work at the problem, sometimes through pain and suffering and toil. And, if all the time I hold steady in belief, this very belief attracts dynamic influences that help create the facts.
I remember a talk I had with a college student who was failing in his studies. He just couldn’t seem to get passing grades. It was at his father’s request that I talked with him. It was an interesting experience. The father is a man I first knew when we were in college. He remarked to me, speaking of his son, that young people today aren’t like their parents. Personally, I think that’s often just as well! Anyway, the boy came. He was a nice-looking boy, and he was a great talker.
He proceeded to tell me at great length what was wrong with his professors. I never heard of such a poor bunch of professors in all my life! Finally I said, “Bill, seems to me the first thing you must do is get a little humility. Suppose we pray and try to get some humility in you.”
After we had prayed, the boy looked at me and said, “Okay, I get the message. The fault is all mine.” I thought that was a good beginning. It is always a good beginning to stop blaming other people for your failures. Then we prayed that God would grant the boy some wisdom. He said despondently, “But I have so many faults.”
Then I told him about a method for overcoming lack of confidence. “First, take pencil and paper and make an honest analysis of yourself. On one sheet of paper, list all the negative things about yourself: your weaknesses, your failures, your faults, your doubts—everything negative. On another sheet, list qualities representing a picture of yourself as you would like to be. On one sheet, you have the way you are; on the other, you see the way you would like to be. Then put the first one away; the other one, fold and put in your pocket or purse. Read it a dozen times a day.
“Second, pray that the Lord will empower you with great strength. Visualize the strength flowing into you. “Third, go out and apply to your immediate problems the best of your diligence and intelligence.” The boy accepted these suggestions and acted on them. I saw him a few years later. He had graduated in the top third of his class. He was doing splendidly in his job. He said, “I still carry in my pocket this diagram of what I would like to be. In my desk at home, I still keep the one that shows how I used to be. Sometimes I get it out and cross out some weakness I no longer have. I’ve got about half the things on the sheet crossed out now. But don’t worry, I’m not going to get conceited; I’m still humble. I know I didn’t do it myself.”
I asked, “Who helped you do it?”
He said, “It was the Lord. Isn’t it wonderful how close to you the Lord is if you really give yourself to Him?”
Realize that, as a child of God, you have within you enough strength to meet any situation. Use prayer to rid yourself of the things that cause your lack of confidence. Make a blueprint of what you aspire to be and hold it firmly in your mind. Then, commit your living into God’s hands and let Him bring out of you the powerful person within—the you who is able to overcome. “In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence.”
