In getting through life’s challenges, hope is important, but persistence is key.
Over the last six years, I’ve helped all four of my teen and young adult children navigate mental health issues. Many of those years were really dark. To be completely honest, some months were nearly unbearable. I’ve often joked that I’m glad the Lord didn’t tell me what was coming in my later years of motherhood because I would have run as far away from home as possible.
Hope carries a person through adversity, but it is persistence that takes the firm steps. Persistence took many forms as I advocated for each of my children and strived to find them good care. Persistence looked like Google searches for therapists and psychiatrists and reading each bio one by one. It looked like insurance calls and voicemails, emails and paperwork. It looked like research and medical papers, prescriptions and supplements. It looked like emails with teachers and transfers to an online school.
When bedroom doors were closed, persistence meant knocking and checking in. When countenances were downcast or appetites were low, persistence meant discerning what was needed—a good question, a listening ear, a back rub. When a change of scenery was needed, persistence meant touring the town for glimpses of joy, even if they were momentary. I did not do everything right, but one thing I know for certain: I was persistent in finding relief for my children.
Persistence for yourself, too
Persistence comes more naturally for me when I am acting on behalf of others, but I struggle to be persistent on behalf of my own needs and desires. In my work with women, I’ve found this to be a common phenomenon. Life gets busy or challenging or downright hard, and persistence toward personal development, better health, creativity, dreams, or goals comes to a full stop. Some seasons demand adjustments and a pause, and I would highly recommend simplifying one’s schedule in times of survival. But how do we return to personal persistence when life settles? This guide offers steps for strengthening the muscles that create consistency.
Step 1: Identify where persistence might be beneficial in your life.
Persistence is not automatically virtuous. Think about it, persistence about getting one’s own way is not a positive trait, nor is persistence in always speaking one’s mind. Determined consistency is virtuous when applied to a beneficial purpose or pursuit, but those purposes and pursuits must first be identified and named.
Take a sheet of paper and draw a grid of eight boxes. Label each with one of these holistic facets: Social, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, Emotional, Creative, Financial, Intellectual. Pray through this naming process by asking the Lord to reveal areas of your life where persistence is needed. You may find one aspect of your life is marked by steady determination. Another facet of your life may show significant lack in terms of diligence. You might name something in every category, or you might name several things in one category. This naming process will be as unique as you! Review your list and circle only one or two focuses. Practice persistence in these focus areas for the next four weeks.
Step 2: Define your why for applying persistence to this area of your life.
Why will increased persistence benefit you in a particular area It’s an important question, and once you have an answer, you’ll have the reason for your motivation. Let’s say you want to be persistent in paying off your debt. The why for this focus is pretty clear—no debt means less stress and more generosity. Worth the dedication, for sure.
If you love nerding out, research a good why for yourself. For example, “I’m persistently scheduling more time with friends because the surgeon general says loneliness is harmful to my physical health.” That’s a compelling why! But what if you want to be persistent in honing a particular creative endeavor? Depending on how long you’ve tabled your creative side, it might be uncomfortable to define your why for this focus. Don’t be intimidated about declaring a desire to flourish. If your grandma used to knit and you think learning the skill would be a meaningful way to remember her, then “I’ll spend a half hour each evening learning to knit like Grandma did,” is a worthy why.
Step 3: Be realistic.
To develop anything, one must stay grounded in reality. And the first rule of reality? Just because you say you want to become more persistent toward a certain focus doesn’t mean it will happen. Priorities must be scheduled. Distractions must be removed. Excuses must be confronted. Persistence toward a goal will not be developed if you say “yes” to every request, invite, or opportunity. Boundaries must be established. An accountability partner can be hugely advantageous when practicing a new habit, so find that special someone who can be both a cheerleader and a voice of tough love. Be accountable to yourself, too, by writing your why on a sticky note and putting it somewhere visible. This constant reminder will help you meditate on the value persistence will have in your life and in your being.
Step 4: Plan for resistance.
Second rule of reality: resistance will come. When you accept the challenge of strengthening your persistence, you can count on resistance showing up, too. Try to reframe resistance as neutral—neither good nor bad, just a part of life. If you view resistance this way, you’ll face it and move through it easier. You may even recognize what resistance can do for you. It “produces perseverance,” as James writes in James 1:3.
Step 5: Simplicity + Persistence = Consistency
As a personal trainer, my top piece of advice to clients (both new and longstanding) is this: simplicity. In a world of easily accessible knowledge, we have copious amounts of information at our fingertips all the time. More is not better. More adds complexity. It means a decision must be made, and any time a decision must be made, it depletes our energy and wears down our persistence. Hebrews 12:1 says, “Let us strip off every weight that slows us down…” (NLT) Simplicity is an asset in the journey of consistency and endurance. It keeps you moving forward rather than slowing you down.
Step 6: Breakthroughs look like consistency.
We are easily misled by promises of quick solutions and magic keys. If we can just unlock the secret, we’ll finally experience the breakthrough that uncovers our purpose and outlines how to live out that purpose! The truth is, transformation looks like consistency. Breakthroughs come because of many persistent steps in the same direction. Persistence is not sexy. It is not quick. It is not exciting. But it is effective. What will it ask of you? Attention. Willingness. Responsiveness. The beauty of these characteristics is they allow the fruits of the Spirit to grow in you as you move. You’ll walk with peace and patience, joy and kindness—an unfrenzied hustle toward the life and purpose God designed just for you.
